MY PHDPraise the Lord that I passed my viva on 21.01.2008
, but that was not the end
... I had been working really hard on the correction for the past one week, after my invigilation duty... It just felt like running a marathon.... which is pushing me to another new level in terms of time management and physical + mental challenge.... Finally... I managed to finish my correction and printed one copy yesterday.... So tomorrow I will submit the corrected copy to my internal examiner... for him to have final check.... hopefully I can be ready to print the final copy for binding, which will put a full-stop to the 4 years of research life....
Tonight, I have some time to myself,. which I can reflect on my PhD student life.... one that just reminds me how God has planned this perfectly to even a dot.... taking this opportunity, I am putting down the bits and pieces of how God has led me till today, and how He has made this the best 4 years of my life.... so bear with me if you are reading this blog.... hahaha
When I finished level 3 of my undergraduate... I never thought of staying for further studies... but somehow God made it happened by blessing me with the ORS scholarship, and this mark the first chapter of my PhD life.... 1st year of PhD was the darkest time of my life.... one which I doubted God and left the church, seeking for an answer of my existance.... I lived that year with all that I have, using my own brain and strength, depending on human capabilities to push myself on my studies as well as the way of living my life.... I was tired and exhausted, and my physical, mental, spiritual and social life had been challenged over and over again... I was at the edge of explosion.... but God says that the end of human strength is the beginning of His work.... God gave me an answer after coming back from Chinese New Year holiday in Malaysia.... and that was the first time ever in my life that I truly understand and accept the Gospel.... I have heard the Gospel over and over again, and I can even tell you what the Gospel is about.... I grew up in a Christian family and served in church for years!!!! But I never knew that I have not embraced the Gospel in my life..... God is Good... I was more than determined to follow Him...
2nd year of my PhD is the beginning of training that God had planned for me.... a year full of experiments, which involved more than 20 different combination and techniques... not to count the number of late nights in the lab that brought permanent dark patches under my eyes
... Looking at the others who started with me.... they were either talking of publication of results or attending conferences.... my heart sank to the bottom of the earth... I was practically at the edge of giving up.... and my temper was through the roof!!! I cried and yelled and shouted to the Lord... WHY!!!!!! God says because I am still foolishly depending on men's strength.... Through bible study group... I learnt and slowly pick up every piece of my life and laid all of them before God... and place my research in His hand.... my second year of PhD was the moulding year..... One that God teaches me to be humble and depend on God but not man
3rd year came and I still have nothing.... I was very nervous but somehow there is a sense of peace... I dunno how to explain but maybe deep in my heart, I trusted that God has his will.... At that time, I told myself that even if I couldn't finish my project and thus no graduation for me, I still thank God for I had found Him and that was enough..... Before my 3rd year began... Vincent came to me and asked if I want to be the student leader for the year... I struggled a lot... because being student leader is not just about being there every Monday night and lead a bible study group... it involved commitment to the members, and the preparation work as well... All these take time but time is what I needed!!!! I need time to do the experiment!!!! I was having a war in my mind.... but finally I prayed and decided to serve the Lord.... The strange part was that out of nowhere, my name appeared as the intepretator on the time table
Somehow, I took the responsibility as well.. (That was sooooo not me!!!!)... "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness... all these things will be added on to you...." I still remembered that it was a Friday when I decided and committed to both positions of student leader + interpretator.... the NEXT DAY.... I was working in the uni on my experiment and God blessed me with the first result ever in my PhD life!!!!! God is soooooo awesome!!!!!
4th year is the miracle year..... At the start of my 4th year... in hand I only have about 1/4 of the results I have in my thesis.... I was not nervous anymore but still worried that I did not have enough to write a PhD thesis.... At the beginning of my 4th year was also the time to pass the baton of student leader responsibility to another person.... and I just felt like it was a reward from God after serving Him as student leader for a year.... because within the next 2 MONTHS.... I had acquired ALL the results that I have in my thesis!!!!! AMAZING!!!! I couldn't believe it when my supervisor said that I could start writing up!!!! After exam invigilation duty in January, I started planning my thesis and started writing... and I thought I have more than enough time to complete by the end of September.... Therefore I "slacked" a little.... In April, my parents came and I brought them to Italy and Swansea area for holiday... and unexpected trip back to Malaysia in June for a month... plus the planned wedding trip in France in August and the rejection of extention on my PhD studies.... I only had about 2-3 months spent of my entire 4th year on thesis writing.... God still blessed me even when I myself slacked.... God brought in various people who helped me through that "rush hour"
Coming to the scary viva day, where everything that I had done in 4 years will be tested in that few hours... and the examiners can ask practically anything under the sun.... I didn't know if things that I had prepared are sufficient and due to the busy + rush research years that I had.. I didn't have enough time to expand my reading out of my research field... Having the 2.5 hours of viva really felt like being in an interrogation room.... And my brain was stretched and pressed with all the questions asked.... some that I could answer, some that I couldn't and some that I just forgot the things that I had read.... After 2.5 hour that felt like a day long... The examiners congratulated me and said that I only have minor corrections.... which need to be done and submit the final copy to uni in another 2 weeks time....
That's it!!!! The brief diary of how my PhD life was like.... How God has brought me closer to Him year after year... and taught me valuable lessons through various situations.... and blessed me time after time... I know that the doctorate that I have today will never happen without God intervention.... thus I could claim no credit but to give glory to the Lord for what He has done.... Praise the Lord!!!
Comments (2)
muaahaa...i think it is such a wonderful testimonies...:)
anyway...glad it's all done now..:)